The Bridge

I have had my share of transitional periods. Each one revealed a different aspect of myself and my circle. These inevitable periods are not for the weak. You experience so many different emotions that it may be hard for one to keep up. It's so important to have people in your life that are able to love you and hold your hand through your transitional phases, without judgement. The ones that check in, just to make sure you ate or the ones that bring over your favorite bottle of wine and just let you get your emotions out, those are the people that you cherish the most. Transitions hurt, it can be the type of growing pain that you did not prepare for. In this, you experience the 5 stages of grief, which is a natural part of coping and moving forward.

Recently, I decided to end my marriage.  This was a decision that I went back and forth with for a while. I knew that my emotional health was at risk, but I was in complete disbelief of what was happening in my life. I did not want to raise my children in a broken home and have them replay the emotional traumas that I experienced as a child. I wanted to make the marriage work, but after 6 years, we just could never get on the same page. In those moments of denial, I was operating at a lower vibration. I wasn’t myself, I had a lot of self-doubt and I worked hard to remind myself that I was the prize. Once I realized that God hand- dipped me in gold when he made me, it made me angry. I was angry that I had given so much of myself and had felt empty for so long. This is that “You have me f***** up moment.” Can you imagine that phone call to your bestie? Yeah, I had many of those calls, or nights just venting to my friends. 

Then there are the moments, not long after where you start bargaining with yourself and the situation that you are in. “Well, maybe I can just work it out” or “I have to stay because, what will they do without me.” At this point, I was looking a little bi-polar  like “Girl what you wanna do??!!” I am so blessed for the people in my life that remained my voice of reason and compassionately reminded me of where I was emotionally. The way my mind works is I will 100% block what someone has done to me and made me feel because I want to think people are good people. I appreciated the reassurance from my tribe. 

Knowing that your life as you know it will soon change drastically, is one that can be overwhelming. It can cause you to trickle to a state of depression. The feeling of failure, the feeling of emptiness, the feeling of insecurity can repeatedly play in your mind. For me, this was the hardest part. Why do I feel this bad making a decision that I know will be best for me? I went into hermit mode. I wasn’t calling my friends, I was trying to be superwoman and I didn't want anyone to see me in this state. I was sad that my family dynamic was shifting and I had to be strong when I felt the total opposite. In this phase, you have to remain strong. You have to remember that God did not bring you this far to leave you in that head space. God spoke to you, you listened, and the growing pains are resembling labor pains. What happens after labor though? You birth a new beginning, your purpose is revealed so effortlessly and you are so clear as to why you had to go through the bridge from one transition to the next chapter. In accepting the reality of the “new normal” and “purpose driven happenings,” the lens becomes clearer and you can successfully embody liberation.

****If you have a friend or family member that is going through a life-changing transition, I encourage you to extend them some grace. Their emotions can fluctuate, and it is comforting to know that your tribe doesn’t judge or speak negatively of you.. Be gentle with the ones you care for. CHECK ON THEM. Don’t gossip, just check in… you never know how situations are affecting them. A phone call can literally make someone’s day. Be the friend that you would need.******

Triggered

Some of us have been operating in Ego so long, that the time has not been made to unravel our triggers.Yeah, I got straight to the point. The thing is, some of us think that we have it all figured out or that certain situations cannot leave a significant emotional impact on us. We have become so accustomed to compartmentalizing our emotions, that we are literally shocked when we are TRIGGERED. Have you ever been in a situation where you reacted unfavorably, and you wondered where that ish came from? I know I have! I legitimately have been all in my feelings and have NO IDEA WHY.

Triggers reveal parts of us that need to heal. It is the concealed part of us that has been neglected, however it presents itself at the most unlikely of times. For me, I have had to really sit back and understand why certain things that people did or said to me affected me more than I anticipated. Well, there are a few reasons for the unveiling of these feelings. #1- Whatever was said or done reminded me of another time that brought me pain or trauma #2- My intuition probably prepared me for whatever I got myself into, and I just ignored myself. So then I ended up not trusting my own judgement OR the intentions of others. Self reflection…...

When you are taking time to explore yourself, you can get to the point that you have to peel back multiple layers of trust issues. The discovery of those triggers can be one that is not for the weak. You realize that you have been operating in fight or flight mode for the past forever and you have lost the core of who you are. Who were you before the trauma or the heartbreak? What is the essence of your soul before you were emotionally neglected? Reflecting creates perspective. As you begin to reflect on the past situations and circumstances in your life, I recommend you to be easy on yourself. Remember that on the journey to you, there are many transformative moments. The biggest transformation is forgiveness. Forgive yourself my love. You are no longer the person that you cannot trust. So combat those triggers and be open to receive the peace that comes with it! You now know that you are of God. Infinite and worthy.

Daddy Issues

During my sessions, the first thing that I say is, “I will press some buttons.” You may be triggered because we have to get to the root of the problem. Well here is one of those moments.... Question, how do we conquer our Daddy Issues? Like, really conquer them and not try to hide the effects of the emotional trauma. Well let’s get into it then!

 Personally, my father has been in my life, just emotionally unavailable. Having an emotionally unavailable parent can directly contribute to the emotional voids that end up having to be filled as an adult. Also, the need for that constant validation from others remains present in our adult lives as well. I remember feeling like I was persistently on a mission to prove to my father that I was worthy of his love. His love and validation were things that I yearned for endlessly. I wanted to feel like the most valued little girl. However, he was unable to create that emotional foundation for me. In my journey of “adulting”, I am able to identify that he was unable to give something that he did not have. And beloved, this is where the cycle begins. 

It is important to identify things about yourself that need to be changed in order to stop the cycle. Be on an unapologetic pursuit of yourself so that you can identify your triggers. I can personally attest to being triggered and then processing that emotion and uncovering something else I need to heal from. It is so important to heal because we can end up being so caught up in how that emotional emptiness feels to us that we neglect parts of our own children’s emotional foundation.

Furthermore, have you noticed that we can subconsciously attract men who highlight unresolved issues with our fathers? It becomes this addictive, constant cycle of comfort of staying in situations that make us feel safe. It's such a twisted instinctive comfort. We choose to re-traumatize ourselves by associating with emotionally  bankrupt relationships. In the healing process we realize that we have become so accustomed to trauma bonding that our emotions look like people pleasing, or persistent apologizing or literally living in a false sense of self.

I encourage you to nurture your inner child. Give that baby some love and affirmations. I know that our experiences are our main resource and It can be hard to re-configure your emotional database. However, we must release what we did not gain from our parents and forgive wholeheartedly. They are only human, as are we. 

With Love,

Devyn

Now and Forever Queen By:Tiffany Lyn

A shape.  A mold.  Convex and concave, contoured to perfection - the silhouette of a woman.  The curves eb and flow with life as she wields and with the power that she yields.  What beauty is in this woman.  Sis, you are this woman.

If only we knew from the beginning, from the moment we first looked into the mirror that we are divine, regal, purposeful.  Applause goes to those who figured it out early on or better yet were shown their true position as a queen in waiting as young girls.  But for those who have yet to identify the treasure in their soul and the gift they are to the world, I’m here to tell you it's never too late to embrace your identity and walk in the authenticity of being a Queen.

Have you ever seen a movie with a princess who didn’t know who she was.  That she was able to ask for what she wanted without fear or hesitation.  There was an expectation that her heart’s desires, no matter how big or small, would be fulfilled close to perfection.  Her worth was not based on external opinion and certainly did not change even with internal opposition. She is Queen.  Her yes is yes and her no is no.

Can you entertain the notion and imagine how your life would be if you identified, accepted and walked in who God made you to be.  You are His daughter, His treasure.  You are a copy of His very nature.  His words create.  So your words create.  His presence is power.  So your presence is power.  He is love. So you are lovely and loveable. He says there is no good thing He withholds from those who love Him.  If He is not holding back, why are you?

You are indeed a Queen, fashioned to rule in the world. It doesn’t matter what anyone says or does.  What matters is what God says about you and what you choose to do with it.  Strip off all erroneous labels and cloak yourself with truth.  Know that there isn't anything you can’t do, overcome, or achieve.  Without a team, fan club, or mate, you are still Queen.  Walk in it!  Start the business, write the book, go for the promotion, raise kings and queens.  It's not unfathomable; it's in your very DNA.  Be humble, be gentle, be bold, be fierce.  Recognize who you are.  Now and forever, Queen!

Peace in the Stillness

As I sat in the emergency room in the midst of a Global Pandemic, I realized something: I was in the emergency room because my anxiety had been through the roof to the point that I felt like I was literally having a stroke (I am a Virgo and slightly dramatic lol). However, I kept pondering in my head, “How did I get here?” Well, I was Juggling multiple things. I was taking on everything and anything that people threw at me. I had been neglecting myself to make other people happy. I was literally giving all that I had to give, and was told it was not enough. In turn, It made me question my worth.

Have you ever noticed that the enemy will use people to make you feel as if you have not changed or progressed? For example, they can use words that in the past would trigger you, and you find yourself regressing two steps backwards mentally. I have personally been in these situations and I remember feeling insecure. I would literally re-play the words in my mind to the point that I allowed that negative energy to attach to me. It caused a sense of depression and loneliness. I questioned myself, and asked myself: “Are these negative connotations a correct representation of my worth.” I eventually had to be intentional about changing the way that I viewed myself. I began writing affirmations on my mirror and allowing the positivity to resonate with me.

I have learned that I cannot allow someone's negative opinion of me to attach to my identity. I understand that sometimes the negativity can be so repetitive that it can become like a broken record in your mind to the point that you believe it. However, find peace in the stillness. When you quiet your mind and become aware that this is a part of your spiritual and emotional warfare, you will help it to fuel the path to your true Identity. Remember beloved, your identity is not reflected based on who people say you are. You have one creator and those energy vampires ain't it. 

In conclusion, needless to say, I am good now. I still have moments where I have to train myself to set boundaries to protect my mental. However. I celebrate my small liberation moments along the way---as you should :)

Queen, Know who you are without a shadow of doubt. The enemy’s  plot is to watch your empire come crashing down. 

Adjust your crown

Fix your posture

 Inherit that Queendom

Royalty

“If we were made in his image, then call us by our names” -Erykah Badu. Queens. Kings. Royalty. So why is it that we so willingly give out energy and time to those of the village mindset—whom have no desire to ascend? Now don’t get me wrong, some parts of our lives may have seasons that are spent in the village. However, it is up to you to know when it is time to adjust your crown, ask the Lord to bless the people of the village and dip. In that order. I can understand giving grace to people and allowing them to come to terms with the kingdom they have inherited, but it does not take a lifetime to do that. It is imperative that we stay on the path to our purpose, blessing those whom we come in contact with on our Journey, and giving the rest over to God. It is not easy, but it must be done on the path of transformation. Listen to God when he tells you to let go, and let him do the rest.

On the journey of transformation, you will look back and not recognize the person that you were. The person that you were will not attract the things that your current and future self desire and require. It’s the Law of attraction: if you have a specific desire and focus joyfully on that desire, it will be fulfilled. If you have a village mindset, that is were you will dwell my love. Instead, dwell in abundance.

Baby when you vibe higher, your energy will naturally attract all that is destined for you. All you have to do is change your way of thinking. Alter your perspective, and eliminate negative thoughts one at a time. For example, instead of "There are no good men out there” change it to “I have learned my lesson in my previous relationship, and I am a better ME for my future husband”. SPEAK LIFE into your situation beloved. The power of life and death is in your tongue.

OH! And on another note…stop lowering your price! Its non-negotiable……….

Manifest that shit sis! Pray, learn, heal, ascend!

-Queendom

Loving From My Overflow By: A.J

If my cup is not full then I'm not completely loving myself. But when my cup is full I am confident, I am flowing, I am free! How much better would it be when my cup is full and overflowing? How simple it is to love others. From now on if I'm not overflowing, then I cannot love genuinely.

Relationships are draining! Spouses, significant others, family relationships, even some friendships. However, in order to keep from being drained I must learn to love others from my overflow. You know when you get on an airplane, they emphasize the fact that you MUST secure your oxygen face mask before someone else. Guess what sis, if you are not healthy enough to save yourself, or passed out, you can't save nobody else! It is such a beautiful feeling of 100% admiring the person that you are, all parts of you. Every part of what makes you whole. It is also okay to admit sometimes that I only need to stand back and make sure I'm taking care of myself. That is what this season is all about. This season is for you to be able to live in abundance. To recognize your worth a little more and trusting in Divine time. You are worth enough to forgive yourself. Let go of some of those things that keep you in bondage. Flow in your uniqueness.

Loving from my overflow keeps me full. Loving from my overflow also allows for me to set boundaries on people and things that do not pour into my cup. Psalms 23:5 speaks about my cup running over. Meaning I have more than enough. This is key to remaining full. Running over into the lives of others . Running over so that I am never to tired to worship the almighty for all he does in my life. Be Grateful, you do not even know the doors God has opened and closed on your behalf. Be Blessed and Be a Blessing.

Go and be blessed my sisters!

A.J

Change Your Mental Narrative

Childhood experiences can directly and indirectly affect the adult mind. I believe that over half of life’s issues or emotional insecurities came from a subconscious remembrance of an adolescent event. Anger issues, anxiety, bipolar disorder and many more things arise from hardships or an event that one has never dissected. For example, someone may have had an issue with a family member as a child and were never able to speak their truth to them on how the family member affected them. Then, when faced with that person as an adult, it's like something in our psyche can revolt back to that child who felt voiceless. Has that ever happened to you? It’s like you get around this person and a natural anxiety creeps in and you don’t know how to be. This happens when those wounds are not healed. You are literally living your life on auto-pilot when you do not heal. You have relationships with people that do not last, because you have not healed, HEAL GIRL!

Everything has a cause and effect. With this, it literally molds each person differently because each person's resource is their own experiences. 

Changing the mental narrative of your experiences is key. UN-learn the habits that have formed over time to create a life that you love. In the process of unlearning, you have to forgive people in your life that have wronged you, or caused you harm. Once you forgive, it opens your heart to have more compassion for yourself and for others. We don’t understand how hard we can be on ourselves! Love yourself a little more today and clear up some space in your heart to create new climaxes in your life.

I can’t wait to see how beautiful your life turns out!

With Love,

Devyn

Don’t Escape The Wilderness Experience

The trenches can get rough, can’t they? The confusion, the second guessing and the up and downs in emotions can literally have us in desperation to get out. I have learned that sometimes life has a way of exposing your purpose through your pain. Pain comes and goes and each situation exposes a power that you didn't even know existed. We are so oblivious to God’s true outcome in our lives, however, the Holy Spirit lives inside of us as an internal Roadmap . If you go the wrong direction he will reroute you to your final destination. 

Personally, I feel like my life has been a constant battle between my stubbornness and my inability to hear God’s voice clearly.. I know that there are moments where it's like a fight between the angel and the devil on each shoulder trying to sway me. In that moment, I am standing in the middle of a battle,fighting for my life. It becomes even harder to fight that battle when the Holy Spirit becomes silent...however, he is a humorous God..He is like “you know what---since she has it all figured out, and she thinks she can live her life without using me as a resource?? Let’s see how this shit show turns out” (Forgive me Spirit, i’m working on my mouth)

 I know when you are in the wilderness, you cannot see the end game. You cannot comprehend why it is that a spiritual being like yourself can be allowed to suffer the way you do. We have to suffer, we have to be equipt for what it is that is waiting on the other side--over there...By our Destiny. 

Your peace comes when you let down that guard between you and the Holy Spirit and realize that your destiny was created before you were born. Allow him to direct your path and accept all consequences. Sometimes your consequences end up being a pathway to our adjustments. 

Bend, do not break my love.

Devyn

Pruning Season

In these unprecedented times, it becomes very easy to lose your mojo! I mean, I get it! You binge watch your favorite TV show on Netflix and you don’t even realize you are on the last episode! It’s like, OK….WHAT IS NEXT???? 

I encourage you today to do some examination on your situation---that’s a great starting point. Some things you may realize that you feel really good about and then there are the other things that NEED TO CHANGE. You may really like your job, but are not excelling or progressing the way that you intended OR you may be progressing in your Job and realize that is not what your life’s purpose is. It’s pruning season babeeeey!!

 If you are not aware of what pruning is, it is reducing the extent of something by removing unwanted parts. I do this with my plants regularly. I can look at my plants and tell when some of the leaves are dying. When you prune the dead leaves, your plant becomes restored. Did you know if you do not prune those dead leaves from your plants, then the nutrients go to the dead areas of the plant?? What exactly can vitamin filled, life building nutrients do to a plant with dead leaves?  NADA..just bring the rest of the plant down with it. 

What in your life needs to be pruned? What do you need to get rid of to make you THRIVE? Once you are aware of those things, people, places, past experiences, forgiveness, trauma, etc., and you prune those suckers, it will be such a beautiful transformation. 

Listen, this is one of the most LIBERATING experiences that can occur in your life. I mean, just imagine you removed a toxic person from your life and you were able to finally flourish. Or let’s picture you setting boundaries to have a more flourishing work-life balance. The opportunities are endless my love!

I know it can be easy to get lost in your situation, however it's time to find yourself again. I encourage you to stand firm in your pruning. Pray and ask God for guidance, listen to your intuition---God lives there and knows exactly what he has for you.

Be Liberated!!

With Love,

Devyn

John 15:2

“Every Branch in me that does not bear fruit, he takes away and every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes so that it will bear more fruit”