The Bridge

I have had my share of transitional periods. Each one revealed a different aspect of myself and my circle. These inevitable periods are not for the weak. You experience so many different emotions that it may be hard for one to keep up. It's so important to have people in your life that are able to love you and hold your hand through your transitional phases, without judgement. The ones that check in, just to make sure you ate or the ones that bring over your favorite bottle of wine and just let you get your emotions out, those are the people that you cherish the most. Transitions hurt, it can be the type of growing pain that you did not prepare for. In this, you experience the 5 stages of grief, which is a natural part of coping and moving forward.

Recently, I decided to end my marriage.  This was a decision that I went back and forth with for a while. I knew that my emotional health was at risk, but I was in complete disbelief of what was happening in my life. I did not want to raise my children in a broken home and have them replay the emotional traumas that I experienced as a child. I wanted to make the marriage work, but after 6 years, we just could never get on the same page. In those moments of denial, I was operating at a lower vibration. I wasn’t myself, I had a lot of self-doubt and I worked hard to remind myself that I was the prize. Once I realized that God hand- dipped me in gold when he made me, it made me angry. I was angry that I had given so much of myself and had felt empty for so long. This is that “You have me f***** up moment.” Can you imagine that phone call to your bestie? Yeah, I had many of those calls, or nights just venting to my friends. 

Then there are the moments, not long after where you start bargaining with yourself and the situation that you are in. “Well, maybe I can just work it out” or “I have to stay because, what will they do without me.” At this point, I was looking a little bi-polar  like “Girl what you wanna do??!!” I am so blessed for the people in my life that remained my voice of reason and compassionately reminded me of where I was emotionally. The way my mind works is I will 100% block what someone has done to me and made me feel because I want to think people are good people. I appreciated the reassurance from my tribe. 

Knowing that your life as you know it will soon change drastically, is one that can be overwhelming. It can cause you to trickle to a state of depression. The feeling of failure, the feeling of emptiness, the feeling of insecurity can repeatedly play in your mind. For me, this was the hardest part. Why do I feel this bad making a decision that I know will be best for me? I went into hermit mode. I wasn’t calling my friends, I was trying to be superwoman and I didn't want anyone to see me in this state. I was sad that my family dynamic was shifting and I had to be strong when I felt the total opposite. In this phase, you have to remain strong. You have to remember that God did not bring you this far to leave you in that head space. God spoke to you, you listened, and the growing pains are resembling labor pains. What happens after labor though? You birth a new beginning, your purpose is revealed so effortlessly and you are so clear as to why you had to go through the bridge from one transition to the next chapter. In accepting the reality of the “new normal” and “purpose driven happenings,” the lens becomes clearer and you can successfully embody liberation.

****If you have a friend or family member that is going through a life-changing transition, I encourage you to extend them some grace. Their emotions can fluctuate, and it is comforting to know that your tribe doesn’t judge or speak negatively of you.. Be gentle with the ones you care for. CHECK ON THEM. Don’t gossip, just check in… you never know how situations are affecting them. A phone call can literally make someone’s day. Be the friend that you would need.******