Daddy Issues
During my sessions, the first thing that I say is, “I will press some buttons.” You may be triggered because we have to get to the root of the problem. Well here is one of those moments.... Question, how do we conquer our Daddy Issues? Like, really conquer them and not try to hide the effects of the emotional trauma. Well let’s get into it then!
Personally, my father has been in my life, just emotionally unavailable. Having an emotionally unavailable parent can directly contribute to the emotional voids that end up having to be filled as an adult. Also, the need for that constant validation from others remains present in our adult lives as well. I remember feeling like I was persistently on a mission to prove to my father that I was worthy of his love. His love and validation were things that I yearned for endlessly. I wanted to feel like the most valued little girl. However, he was unable to create that emotional foundation for me. In my journey of “adulting”, I am able to identify that he was unable to give something that he did not have. And beloved, this is where the cycle begins.
It is important to identify things about yourself that need to be changed in order to stop the cycle. Be on an unapologetic pursuit of yourself so that you can identify your triggers. I can personally attest to being triggered and then processing that emotion and uncovering something else I need to heal from. It is so important to heal because we can end up being so caught up in how that emotional emptiness feels to us that we neglect parts of our own children’s emotional foundation.
Furthermore, have you noticed that we can subconsciously attract men who highlight unresolved issues with our fathers? It becomes this addictive, constant cycle of comfort of staying in situations that make us feel safe. It's such a twisted instinctive comfort. We choose to re-traumatize ourselves by associating with emotionally bankrupt relationships. In the healing process we realize that we have become so accustomed to trauma bonding that our emotions look like people pleasing, or persistent apologizing or literally living in a false sense of self.
I encourage you to nurture your inner child. Give that baby some love and affirmations. I know that our experiences are our main resource and It can be hard to re-configure your emotional database. However, we must release what we did not gain from our parents and forgive wholeheartedly. They are only human, as are we.
With Love,
Devyn